7 Common Phrases that Destroy Your Confidence
This week’s vlog is all about the labels killing your #BetterSalesLife. Now imagine this scenario where someone drops a cup of coffee and starts saying to herself, “You idiot,” or “How could you be so stupid?” Now I can acknowledge that dropping a cup of coffee because you were trying to juggle a handbag, computer bag and a set of keys is not ideal. But I don’t personally believe a small mistake like this makes someone an IDIOT or STUPID.
And yet this is the label so many of us do when we make small and human mistakes. We turn a small mistake into a description of ourselves that destroys self-esteem and confidence.
Here are 7 labels to think about changing…
1. Labelling achieving budget as success
The budget given to you by the company you work for was NOT designed around the life you want to live. It was designed around the owner/ shareholder’s life. To achieve YOUR goals and live YOUR #BetterSalesLife you need to break free of defining ‘achieving budget’ as successful.
2. Labelling prospective customers as targets
I’m working on changing this and it is hard. 30 years of calling prospective customers “targets” is hard to re-program. When you think about engaging people as “prospective customers” rather than “targets” your engagement strategies become a lot smarter and more customer-centric.
3. Labelling your day as “Not Bad”
What if you responded to “How’s your day?” with “Great thanks”. Sounds corny but try it for a day. And whilst you’re at it, notice how others are labelling this gift of another day above ground. Every time you respond with “not bad” that’s the label you are giving to this amazing thing called your life!
4. Labelling your emotional state as “Stressed”
Stress is an emotional state designed to grow your mental, physical and emotional muscles. When you define your emotional state as stress – it creates fatigue and tension whether you are actually under stress or not. Labelling things like looking for a new car, finding a restaurant or searching for a new series on Netflix as stressful, is not a good strategy.
5. Labelling your manager as “The Boss”
If you truly want to collaborate with someone you need to position yourself as a valued peer in their mind. When you label your Manager as “the boss”, you set yourself up to behave as a subordinate employee with a job. It is very unlikely you’ll do great work for or have a great relationship with someone you label as “the boss”.
6. Labelling Friday as better than all other days
I love the weekend – but if your entire life is lived on the basis that those are the only two great days in the week you’ve written off 70% of the week. If you need to work Monday to Friday you need to make sure the labels you use to describe time enable you to enjoy 100% of the week. I also love Mondays but I’m not suggesting you need to go that far.
7. Labelling yourself as “stupid”
If you’ve read this far you have the ability to finish things and learn. That means you are definitely NOT stupid. Be kind to yourself when you make mistakes. Go one step further and remind yourself that if you’re making mistakes you must be taking risks. And if you’re taking risks you’re more alive than most other human beings!
Would love to hear from you on labels you see people using to take the ‘better’ out of the #BetterSalesLife and make sure you’re using great labels this week!
PS. If you’re in Sydney, I’ve teamed up with Rohilesh Singh from Populis for a powerful session on building confidence and motivation on November 22nd. Join us and I can guarantee that this session to impact your performance. Register here – www.deanmannix.com/confidence